I can't help but feel this way today. I have tried to pull myself through and climb my way out but today, it's difficult. I guess we all have those days where the sun is blocked behind the clouds...or the smile is hidden behind the tears. I don't want to feel this way, but I do. I think anyone in my shoes would feel this way...
I have an amazing family which I love so very much. I am the oldest of four kids and the first born daughter to my amazing parents. There is a large age gap between myself and my youngest brother, but I have always felt close to my siblings, especially my sister. My mom is one of my best friends in the whole world...I don't know what I would do without her. Ever since I moved out, got married and started a family, I have never felt disconnected from them...until today.
Family photos should be just that...FAMILY photos. At first when my mom said that they were getting family photos done, it didn't bother me. I didn't really think about it, let it process and sink in. It didn't hit me until today that those family photos didn't include me. After I started to think about it, the more it became real. My family was getting professional "family" photos done and I wasn't invited to take part in them. I guess they figure I have "my own family" now...and I don't fit in to theirs.
So I went on to feel sorry for myself. It pretty much turned my whole weekend upside down. Here was this important event happening without one key person. Me. Photos aren't something that can talk, and explain their meaning. Photos are lifetime memories that tell their own story. Memories of love, happiness, milestones...and family. Photos last forever and I'm pretty sure the sad, missed and hurt feelings will last as long as those "family" photos will.
