Showing posts with label Hurt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hurt. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Annoyed...

Disclaimer: needing to vent...not your typical warm and fuzzy post

A family vacation is supposed to be a place where adults and children alike can have fun, be themselves and create wonderful memories together. This is a family vacation I was looking forward to...a possible "tradition" with memories like my husband had growing up. It's been 5 days and so far, I am not impressed.

The lake is beautiful, the food is good, the condo is nice, the weather is perfect and I am so happy that there are several different pools and areas for my boys to swim. Best part is that I get to spend time with my hubby and kids! Everything else, not so much.

First things first, my kids are great kids. Yes the boys have their arguments and they fight but in all, they rarely act out in public. My daughter is 10 months old...she's your typical baby, but very easy going and usually always happy! I love my kids and they deserve to be treated with respect. Period.

That being said, my poor kids have had a rough couple of days. "Stop yelling, no running, don't fight, leave me alone, don't do that, come here, don't touch that, you're driving me crazy, eat your food, clean up your mess, don't get your toys out, get out of the kitchen, don't tattle, etc." I'm sick of it. They are kids. Let them play, let them run, let them eat junk if they want, let them use their imagination, pick up your crap if you don't want them to touch it, leave if they are bothering you, and next time, don't plan a "family vacation" if you don't want my kids around. Afterall, they ARE family.

Secondly, I am human. I have feelings too. I may make a mistake, we all do, but I don't need you to jump down my throat about it. I may not eat everything you do, but that doesn't mean that there is "something wrong with me", it means that we are different; if you can't accept that, I feel sorry for you. I also don't need you judging how much I eat because I have lost 14lbs WITHOUT your help. I have been a mother for 9.5 years, don't tell me how to parent my children. Better yet, don't tell me or my children what to do. I am not your nanny. When I ask you a question, I don't need your condescending remarks; I am not an idiot. I'm sorry that you feel the need to talk to me like a child, but I won't be sorry if I call you out in front of everyone. I am 27 yrs old and I can hold my own. I have a college degree, a stable AWESOME job and more than enough friends; I don't need you. I own my car, I have a house, I have the best husband and family ever. In other words, YES, I am better than you.

I am sorry you feel that my kids, myself and my hubby are an inconvenience to you and your vacation. We don't need your approval or entertainment; we ROCK all by ourselves! Next time you want a "family vacation", don't invite me. MY family will take our own vacation and it will be the BEST vacation ever!

Beautiful sunset on this crummy day... can still make me smile!

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Feeling Blue

Sad. Missed. Hurt. Blue.

I can't help but feel this way today. I have tried to pull myself through and climb my way out but today, it's difficult. I guess we all have those days where the sun is blocked behind the clouds...or the smile is hidden behind the tears. I don't want to feel this way, but I do. I think anyone in my shoes would feel this way...

I have an amazing family which I love so very much. I am the oldest of four kids and the first born daughter to my amazing parents. There is a large age gap between myself and my youngest brother, but I have always felt close to my siblings, especially my sister. My mom is one of my best friends in the whole world...I don't know what I would do without her. Ever since I moved out, got married and started a family, I have never felt disconnected from them...until today.

Family photos should be just that...FAMILY photos. At first when my mom said that they were getting family photos done, it didn't bother me. I didn't really think about it, let it process and sink in. It didn't hit me until today that those family photos didn't include me. After I started to think about it, the more it became real. My family was getting professional "family" photos done and I wasn't invited to take part in them. I guess they figure I have "my own family" now...and I don't fit in to theirs.

So I went on to feel sorry for myself. It pretty much turned my whole weekend upside down. Here was this important event happening without one key person. Me. Photos aren't something that can talk, and explain their meaning. Photos are lifetime memories that tell their own story. Memories of love, happiness, milestones...and family. Photos last forever and I'm pretty sure the sad, missed and hurt feelings will last as long as those "family" photos will.